The Inside Kids

Here

Our darkest days behind us

Crouching like tigers waiting for the light to catch just right

On the necks of the next piece of prey to come by

Time, our undeniable predator

Hungry, sick, twisted and lined with the blood of everyone before us

Slow but undeniable hands

Pressing more weight

Shoulder bones bowed

Compacting everything that’s left

Wants for food and drink and sex

Free from empathy and entropy

Alone

Ready

Waiting for the tiger

To make of him what I make of everything

Skeletal remains and waste

I leave it all behind

I leave it all

Here

Throughout the history of my TV watching I have developed an incredible tolerance for bullshit. I cut my teeth on the soap operas my grandmother watched every day. They will give you a pretty thick skin when it comes to bad acting, bad storytelling, and even bad lighting. I can stick it out for most any show within reason…as long as there’s a payoff.  This is why I have watched more than anyone’s share of very awful shows. I mean do you know anyone who willingly watched more than one episode of the CW cheerleader show Hellcats? I have, and  I think that is a testament to a simple fact.

 I will give anything a chance.

And because of this I have discovered something deeply wrong with contemporary television.

I have given this thing a name.

It’s called “The Tara Conundrum”.

What the Tara Conundrum boils down to is a one-bad-apple-spoils-the-bunch look at TV characters. What I mean is one character that is so bad, that they nearly derail great television shows. The perfect example and the namesake of the conundrum is the character of Tara on HBO’s True Blood.

I have never hated a character like I hate Tara, and I am not the only one. Most every person I have discussed this show with cannot stand Tara. She feels the wrong emotions at the wrong moments. Her acting is borderline at best. And she is SO BORING. A subplot that is so worthless, it becomes the TV equivalent of a gangrenous appendage. If left untreated, it could infect and kill the whole body. As True Blood continues forward, the only thing holding it back from ascending from popcorn-sex-romp to true top flight programing is the bad case of sepsis that is Tara Thornton.

Other shows have committed this same crime. One bad case of TV necrosis that springs to mind is Matt from FX’s Nip/Tuck. Although the show itself has its problems (deciding if it’s a powerful drama or just shock value sex soap) the biggest issue is Matt McNamara, the unnecessary fat.  For a show that is so firmly adult, the pains of fitting in teenage subplots feel forced and completely worthless making an already under talented and poorly cast actor look beyond his depth. It’s also hard to overcome your lack of skill when you’re acting a part that goes from boring and shallow to flat out unlikeable.

Many people point out the character of Oliver from Fox’s The O.C. as one of the worst offenders, when in the end he was an effective pot stirrer, and it was actually Marissa who was the offender of the show, though she was much more effective than Matt and Tara. She also fell victim to a mid-series switch in show runners that turned her into a Tara offender. But in some ways Marissa was the model that every Tara offender should follow. If show runners and writers could handle these characters with the guts and the foresight that Josh Schwartz used with Marissa we would all be better off and these shows could soar above their bounds.

At this point I want you to know that 2005 called and said I should tell everyone SPOILER ALERT!!!!

What you do to fix the Tara Conundrum is kill off the offending character and count your blessings.

That’s what Josh Schwartz did with Marissa. And as the season finale of True Blood hangs over our heads, there is a possibility that Alan Ball finally found the balls to kill off enemy number one in Tara. Matt McNamara is a sad footnote in TV history as a Tara that went untreated, but we can’t win them all. Hopefully if and when these Taras pop up in future shows, we can get the word out and get the powers that be to take another look at what they have created. Take the public’s opinion into consideration, and nip the Tara in the bud.

2011 was a hard year for music in my opinion. Indie rock is starting to peak, and we saw a lot of music on the backside of the hill. Regardless, here is a list of albums that kept the coaster at the top of the drop.

8. Fucked Up-David Comes to Life

This album is a mash up of everything I loved growing up. Straight ahead punk and imaginative post-hardcore riff-jams with a bit of female vocals sprinkled in. It’s a perfect record to take an epic bike ride to. Full of raw energy, nobody in the pitchfork music set sounds like Fucked Up.

7. Adele-21

I came home from work one day to find this album on vinyl sitting in my room. Turns out a friend of a friend ordered the cd from amazon (weird right?) and they sent the vinyl copy by mistake. Oh what a great mistake! I probably wouldn’t have spent as much time with this album if I hadn’t inherited that copy. This record is more than its undeniable radio singles. Every song sounds personal. Her voice is a power onslaught, and she does a pretty good cover of The Cure’s ‘Lovesong’ to boot. Also, Rolling in the deep is a top 5 song of 2011.

 6. Marissa Nadler-S/T

Beauty in bunches. That’s what the self-titled album by Marissa Nadler gives you. It’s not quite folk. It’s not quite alt country.  A very good record for quiet days at home in the fall and wintertime. The whole album is engineered to sound like Marissa is in the room with you and delivers on the idea. A great record for your quieter side.

 5. The Pains of Being Pure at Heart-Belong

I saw TPOBPAH (ha!) this summer. They are one of my favorite new bands of the past ten years. They write catchy hooks with the appeal of Pinkerton era Weezer. On their second album, they clean up some of the pure shoegaze fuzz of their self-titled depute and present a tighter effort. Plus their lead singer is a big Packers fan. Won’t find too many Packers fans in New York based indie bands I’d guess.

 4. Lana Del Rey-Singles

Lizzy Grant changed her name to Lana Del Rey and then put out a handful of really great songs. The biggest hit here was ‘Video Games’ which was a good song, but struggles to find a balance of song power to lyrical power. Her best song is ‘Kinda Outta Luck’ a fun song about a female hit woman dealing with her insatiable dark side. Built around the undeniable power of the old “that thing you do” beat, it sticks right in your brain. Her debut album comes out at the end of January. Lizzy could be the next Amy Winehouse, but without the drug issues.

 3. Lady GaGa-Born This Way

Epic dance fun! Every song goes to number one. Even though Gaga pushes boundaries with her look instead of her music I could really care less. As long as the songs are catchy and dance-y, I’ll keep drinking the Kool-Aid. You got to love those dirty synths and Brian May guitar parts. Born this Way is almost all hit with very narrow misses. Get over yourself. Love Gaga.

 2. David Bazan-Strange Negotiations

Bazan is the best active songwriter in music. Although the latest album feels a bit rushed, it’s still better than 99% of music released in 2011. Strange Negotiations feels like a throwback to the days of Bazan’s old band Pedro the Lion. A bit of a grower compared to its predecessor ‘Curse Your Branches’ if you take the time to learn the songs, Bazan will be your favorite guy too.

1.       Cults-S/T

Album of the year! This album grabbed me and never let go. A hybrid of current indie rock and 50s doo wop, Cults got in my blood and will not leave. Listen to this. Love this. Its 35 minutes of fun. And the beauty of this band is that they’re just going to go up from here.

Back in 1994 the Milwaukee Bucks selected Purdue forward Glenn “Big Dog” Robinson with the first overall pick the NBA draft.

This was the beginning of my basketball fandom.

I was a disciple of the Big Dog. I would trade pretty much any sports card in my collection for a G-Rob rookie I didn’t own yet. No one was off limits. When it came to Big Dog and sports card trades, I was the equivalent of the 1998 Bucks trading Dirk Nowitzki for Robert “Tractor” Traylor. I was making some huge mistakes. But it didn’t matter. He was my guy.

Now following the Big Dog meant following the Bucks, which back in the early 90’s wasn’t the easiest thing. I mean I was ten. I had no concept of state pride or state loyalty. My Mom and Dad didn’t give two shits about the NBA so they didn’t pass down their fandom to me, and I didn’t really know any life outside of Osseo, so the fact that the bucks were located in Milwaukee held no salt.  All that mattered was they drafted G-Rob, so, they were my team. End of story.

Surprisingly enough, the fandom stuck. It didn’t hurt that I grew up and became a total homer, and it helped when the Bucks made a 2001 run to the conference finals (I still hate you Alan Iverson). I stand by the boys in MKE. And it’s paid off.

Somehow, someway, the bucks have worked through the follies of the early to mid 2Ks (The aforementioned Dirk trade, the god awful Ray Alan for an ancient Gary Payton deal) to build a solid team in the last few seasons. It’s been exciting watching Andrew Bogut develop into an elite big man, and the surprise excellence of Brandon Jennings rookie year was amazing. The hiring of John Hammond was inspired, and bringing in defensive minded coach Scott Skiles was an interesting change of pace from the outscore-them-or-lose teams coached by George Karl.

But still, this year seems different to me. While watching this season that nearly didn’t happen, the thing that has really made me stand up and notice the NBA and especially the Bucks is the thing that they are doing that is the most un-NBA thing a pro basketball player can do.

Play unselfishly.

I love passing.

And the Bucks are passing the ball well.

Jennings is starting to take form as a true point guard. He still has the scoring touch, but he’s willing to make that extra pass. His assist numbers are rising, which is extra important when you have a strong inside presence in Bogut and a much improved jump shooting supporting cast.

They also have Wisconsin boy Jon Leuer.

He’s a big guy who needs to fill out a bit, but a good shooter who could develop into a nice change of pace down low. He’s also a strong hustle guy, who I believe will improve his rebounding and will develop into a strong defender.

But the most exciting new addition isn’t who you’d think.

It’s Mike Dunleavy Jr.

The guy is a great passer. Watching the second preseason game against the Timberwolves, Mike D made pass after amazing pass. Threading the needle and hitting the open man, always willing to push the ball to find the better shot. If his style of play becomes infectious in Milwaukee, we should head straight to the playoffs.

It’s exciting. This unselfish style has made me care again. With so many players stepping their game up in spite of the atrocious lockout, we could see a shortened season that’s even better than the incredible show from 2011, and hopefully a little more akin to 2001. I think the current Bucks roster can step out of the shadow of the Big Dog and make me love them as much as I loved that 1994 roster, and stand on their own and make me love the team on their own merits. It sure would ease the pain of the becket values of these G-Rob rookie cards.

The summer leading into my sophomore year of high school would be what Alec Baldwin would call my “Formative years”. I had just gotten my first job at a local restaurant, worked up the guts to ask a girl to be my girlfriend (followed by the instant irrational fear of said girlfriend) and moved out of my Mom’s house and into my Dad’s.

After one of my shifts, one of the cooks offered to give me a ride home. His name was Adam Dusick and we became fast friends when Metallica was playing in his CD player. For the rest of the summer Adam, myself, and the rest of our restaurant crew were damn near inseparable. We did all sorts of awesome shit. We started a band. We stole beers from my Dad’s fridge (he had plenty). We went to almost every small town drunken barn dance and carnival and owned the dance floor, but out of all the activities, my favorite was payday-pawn-shop-CD-hunts.

Back in the late 90s, Eau Claire had some amazing pawn shops that not only vacuumed their stores and kept their guns cased, but they also alphabetized their CD selection. It was in these dark little shops of broken dreams that I started my musical education. I pretty much just branched off the Metallica/Nu Metal  family tree at first. I purchased Megadeth (still awesome), Korn (whoops), Stone Temple Pilots (first couple albums stand strong), and Limp Bizkit (I said whoops!). As my tastes matured, Adam suggested that I check out his all-time favorite band.  Pearl Jam.

The first PJ album I purchased was Vitalogy. Part of its appeal was that some of the songs were about Kurt Cobain (you know, every 15 year old music kids messiah). The other thing that attracted me to the album was that it had the coolest packaging I have ever seen (and that’s still true to this day). The songs were tight and smart. Eddie Vedder was a brilliant lyricist.  I was hooked.

I bought every Pearl Jam album I could get my (second) hands on. Stylistically, they were like a new band on every album, but still somehow remained the same.  At the time, the band had been inactive for a while, so we would order soundboard bootlegs of shows from fan sites. One that I bought included a version of ‘Better Man’ with a tag ending where Eddie sings ‘Save it for Later’. I’ll always hear that ending when that song plays.

But, as with most things, I eventually gravitated away from Pearl Jam. I attribute this to two factors:

1.       I was friends with the two biggest Pearl Jam fans in the world, which led to oversaturation

2.       I became “punk”.

It wasn’t until recently that I came back to PJ. I downloaded Vitalogy and was instantly taken back to 1999 when I first fell in love with the record. To the friendships and the car rides we would take  just for an excuse to listen to music. To a time before music was all about finding the next “cool” band.  Instead, it was about connecting together through a common song. It brought me back to why I loved music in the first place.

Maybe we will always return to the foundation of our tastes. Its brick mortared with memories so tightly crossed with song, that we can’t help it. I remember an early summer evening when some of my closest friends were leaving, some for the summer, and some for good. We all got drunk and told stories until the night was on her last legs and everyone needed to head home to pack or move. And for some reason, the four of us got on the kitchen table and put our arms around each other and sang Pearl Jam’s ‘Smile’ at the top of our lungs, and as we reached the chorus and belted out “I miss you already”, the table collapsed, but we all stood strong together, the parts of a larger whole. I think I need that moment and that song.  I’m incomplete without it. I guess in the end my love of Pearl Jam is summed up best by the band itself. “When something’s lost, I want to fight to get it back again.”